


To all the times I fought my fears by watching fictional heroes fight horrors

by giulia_liddell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I just need to say this stuff in some way, It's my goodbye to this show, This Is STUPID, this is literally nothing important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:35:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27630809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giulia_liddell/pseuds/giulia_liddell
Summary: This is kind of a letter? To the show, but also to myself? It's about what this show means to me... I wrote it at three a.m. so I don't think it's very coherent
Kudos: 5





	To all the times I fought my fears by watching fictional heroes fight horrors

**Author's Note:**

> There's so much more stuff I would like to be able to mention and talk about, but I'm just really overwhelmed... I've been following this show since childhood and now I'm an adult and it's just... It means so much to me and it's.. Hard to let it go...

Feeling lost, as most teenagers, I found some kind of refuge in pop culture, as most do. And it’s natural that me, having almost always disliked horror and anything related to it, decided that this show about hunting monster was going to be one of my favourite refuges. Something that stuck with me through all my teenage years and into adulthood.  
  
I always felt like there was enough horror in the world to not have any reason to search for it in fiction. But I learned that I was missing the point. The monsters in Supernatural didn’t make me feel scared, they weirdly reminded me that the real monsters look just human and that even something that _looks_ scary is not necessarily a monster. An angel is not always someone good and people can have idealized ideas of someone else you know is not good. A person can be demonic, but the worst demons are inside of people, trying to win over their bodies. Fear is good, because fear keeps you going, but you can’t live all your life running away. And even when everything seems lost and you think you can’t go on anymore, even when you think you destroy everything you touch, you are never alone, you always have family. And _family_ doesn’t have anything to do with blood. Sometimes fathers and mothers are not the ones who raised you, sometimes your brothers and sisters took care of you, sometimes your friends did, sometimes you raised yourself. _Family doesn’t end in blood, but doesn’t start there either_. Family can take many shapes and sizes, what matters is that someone will always be there for you and you will always be there for someone.  
  
You can make a lot of mistakes. And most of the time you make mistakes thinking you were doing the right thing. But it’s okay. Because if you don’t give up, everything can be fixed and everything can be forgiven. A mistake isn’t a sin. And your existence is not sinful. Your blood is not who you are and you can always be better than your past. And sometimes what you think of as your worst sins have already been forgiven, and you have to be brave enough to forgive yourself.  
  
You can always have a fresh start. And you can always raise hell. You always have enough strength for one more fight, but you also have enough compassion to avoid fighting. You can do anything for the ones you love, but you must never forget that you are just human and there’s a limit to your infinite strength. Sometimes you will push yourself over your limits for others and sometimes you will let them patch you up and take care of you.  
  
After all you’ve been through, the good and the bad, you might have changed, and change is good, change doesn’t mean losing yourself. Because no matter what, you must never let anyone or anything make you lose yourself. You define your own story and your own destiny. You own your mind, and your body, and your heart. But sometimes emotions can still get the best of you, sometimes your anger burns bright and you feel fueled by hate. And that’s okay, because you are not only that. You are not just fury. There’s compassion, there’s courage, there’s softness and parental instinct in you. There’s love. There’s so much love in you. And your love can defy the universe, because you are free and you cannot be stopped by anyone but yourself.  
  
Demons lie. Because you are human and you’ve always been human. And you deserve your space. You deserve your love. Because everyday you give so much love to the people in your life. You are not weak and you are always doing something important, something that matters. Because the scariest monsters are fought in silence. And you are a fighter. So always keep fighting. _Always keep fighting_.  
  
Your heroes will always be with you and their adventures will always inspire you. There’s no such thing as an ending as long as you carry the story with you. The music will always play for you, reminding you of all the good and the bad with every song and you will _carry on_.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish you all a good finale and a good closure with the show  
> Be safe, always keep fighting and carry on


End file.
